Today I killed for the first time,
I took away a life to save another and myself,
It was kill or be killed.
I’m trembling with great fear,
Fear of killing another human being,
Fear of being killed,
For a split second I lost sense of who I was.
I have killed, I’m brave but soft at heart,
I wept after killing as I thought,
“what if he had a family, what if they are all praying that he returns home safely”.
I had sleepless nights, full of fear,
Haunted by my thoughts, visions I can’t explain,
My only comfort was,
It was either kill or be killed.
I prayed, “God protect me so that I go back to my family”
I paused, as I thought again,
“What if the enemy I killed said the same prayer”
I started trembling again, but this was cut short,
A piercing cry of pain interrupted me….
That was one of my mates,
His last cry, he is gone, he is no more,
I broke down and cried loud,
I felt anger, rage and deep hatred,
I will kill the enemy, I will kill again, and again.
I am a soldier, on the battlefield.